OK, we need to talk about Nick Castellanos. He can’t keep getting away with this.
By now, you’ve probably seen the memes. You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase “I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith — as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame. I don’t know if I’m gonna be putting on this headset again …”
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But it has gone beyond a simple joke based on a coincidence or two. The man has a knack. And that knack is turning Major League Baseball games into a scene from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
It all began Aug. 19, 2020. Cincinnati Reds announcer Thom Brennaman had just been caught on a hot mic using a hom*ophobic slur. When the broadcast returned, he uttered that now-legendary phrase as an awkward aside to a mea culpa before walking out of the broadcast booth with his career in shambles. It was the sort of surreal moment that was destined to go viral, and it absolutely did.
Friends, this was just the beginning.
July 5, 2021: In the very same ballpark as the Brennaman apology, the Kansas City Royals broadcast took a moment to honor the passing of George A. Gorman — the father of a Royals clubbie. They did so coming out of a break, assuming they would have time to get through the somber moment before any real game action took place. Instead, as Castellanos rounded the bases, we got this: “There’s never a great time to eulogize someone during the broadcast, so we apologize for the timing …”
July 31, 2021: It was too early in this process for us to realize at the time, but Frontier League announcer Kyle Dawson discovered that Castellanos need not even be in the ballpark; simply invoking his name is enough to wreck a serious moment. Dawson was speaking from the heart about his uncle Charlie, who had just passed away, and as Tri-City DH Grant Heyman came to the plate, Dawson felt the spirit move. “Just going to give you the visuals and hope we don’t get Nick Castellanos’d and somebody hits a home run to tie the game right now,” he said.
Thanks for the moment, Uncle Charlie. Love you. pic.twitter.com/yfRiPHMao6
— Kyle Dawson (@RealKyleDawson) August 1, 2021
“… of course. My goodness.”
May 30, 2022: As the Philadelphia Phillies broadcast paid homage to fallen service members as part of their Memorial Day broadcast, Castellanos again interrupted with a home run. These are literally the order these words were spoken on the broadcast: “… honoring those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. Castellanos rips one to deep left field, it is gone!”
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Sept. 8, 2022: By this point, the meme had grown to the point that fake Nick Castellanos home runs began to surface. This one — suggesting he homered during a broadcast’s cut-back to a pregame moment of silence for Queen Elizabeth II — was convincingly edited, but alas: Castellanos was on the IL and didn’t play from Sept. 3 to Sept. 26. People fell for it, though. When a guy does something enough times, why would you doubt he had done it again?
Oct. 11, 2023: By this point, broadcasters had to know: If there’s a serious discussion or a tribute, just wait until after Castellanos’ at-bat is over to talk about it. Right? Apparently not, because shortly after former Phillies manager Charlie Manuel suffered a stroke, TBS broadcaster Brian Anderson was tasked with letting the audience know that Manuel was recovering well. But he made the mistake of doing this during a Castellanos at-bat. The broadcast — showing video of Manuel taking left-handed hacks at tennis balls in the hospital — couldn’t even get back to live action in time to see the pitch delivered, but they caught the swing. Of course it was a home run.
We’ll get back to the home runs in a second, but let’s take a moment to acknowledge that there is also a non-homer portion of this phenomenon:
• March 27, 2022: singled as the Toronto Blue Jays broadcast was discussing a spring training DUI by Toronto pitching coach Pete Walker.
• June 6, 2023: doubled while the broadcast was discussing ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease)
Seriously, broadcasters. Just wait. The pitch clock has not shortened games to the point that you have to rush the somber-toned announcement. The teams even do you the service of telling you the batting order, so you can choose to do this when anyone else is at bat. Allow me to suggest the other team’s No. 9 hitter!
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Here is the thing about legends, though: once they are established, confirmation bias is enough to keep them alive. Consider that if any one of these three events from this year had happened on their own, they would not even be considered coincidences. But when we get to the point — and we’ve been there for a while now — that any major news story triggers a compulsion to check the Phillies box score, these otherwise inconsequential events become just more proof that Castellanos is going to keep doing this, forever and ever.
June 18, 2024: Willie Mays passes away. Less than an hour later after the news breaks, Castellanos hits a walk-off double.
July 13, 2024: There is an assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump. Castellanos had already homered that day, and in his next at-bat, he hit a double off the wall.
Sunday: President Joe Biden announces he is dropping out of the presidential race. The news comes on the same day that Thom Brennaman — the man who started this entire thing — gets his first broadcasting job since that fateful day in 2020.
Would you like to guess what Castellanos did?
To “deep left field,” no less.
He can’t keep doing this, right?
It might be too late. In fact, this might just be who Nick Castellanos hasalways been. His first professional home run in the minor leagues — and I promise I’m not making this up — came on May 1, 2011.
(Photo of Nick Castellanos hitting a ninth-inning home run against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Sunday: Charles LeClaire / USA Today)
Levi Weaver is a staff writer for The Athletic covering the Texas Rangers. He spent two seasons covering the Rangers for WFAA (ABC) and has been a contributor to MLB.com and Baseball Prospectus. Follow Levi on Twitter @ThreeTwoEephus
